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Posts Tagged ‘Modesty’

A few months ago, I went to a conference for young adult Muslims and mashAllah it was Ah-mazing. I had just recently, like a few weeks recently, converted and I seriously felt Allah SWT presence that weekend (I mean God’s always present but you know what I mean). Additionally, I had an amazing time sharing a hotel room with some of my best friends even though I didn’t sleep much. Sessions/lectures ending at 1 AM, giggly Muslim girls and Fajr at 5 AM = little to no sleep.

So at this conference, there were obviously a lot of young Muslim men and women there. As I walked around, if I made eye contact with someone, I would smile at them, not thinking anything of it. But when it came to the brothers, many times I would either get A) a really weird long stare or a B) he’d quickly look away. I was so confused but then I realized, “OMG, what if I’m doing this wrong?! All these guys must think I’m in love with them and I want to get married!” I told my friends and they laughed and said not to worry about it. But the rest of the conference I went to the opposite extreme and kept my eyes cast down to the floor when I walked by a man.

Now, looking back at this situation, I giggle. I can imagine myself walking around grinning at everyone (I mean come on, I just converted. A girl can get a little excited about that right?) and then later on, staring at the ground like some emo kid. I really don’t think there’s anything wrong with smiling at people. But a few people have told me that sometimes at Islamic gatherings, there are some people who are in a “marriage” state of mind and they are checking people out. So that’s probably what I looked like I was doing, even though that was not my intention AT ALL. I mean come on, I’m only 19, I’m not looking at the moment. But to be fair to those brothers that gave me a weird stare, they were probably walking around in fear of rishta (basically proposal) seekers lol.

I’m NOT AT ALL saying that we shouldn’t be modest, lower our gaze and all that good stuff. But I’m a friendly person, I’ll smile and say Salaam to someone regardless of their gender. And there’s a HUGE difference between that and OGLING at some poor sister or brother. Let’s know the difference between lust and friendliness, yes? Unfortunately as young Muslims we live in fear of the stares, ogling and gossip. And we’re more than a little obsessed with marriage. Read more these things here, here and here (Maniac Muslim always makes me laugh!) A really wonderful Sheikh I heard at the conference said something to the effect of this: Don’t be rude and ignore Fatima if she walks by just because she is a girl. But then again, there is a difference between “Salaam Fatima!” and “Hellooooooooooo Fatima!” *insert creepy stare here*

So next time I smile and say Salaam to you, please don’t think I want to marry you. All I really want to do is say hi to my fellow Muslim and be on my way. Thanks.

This really, really funny comic about how we as young Muslims sometimes freak out a little bit too much about marriage and relationships comes from http://www.ninjabi.com/ Her comics are hilarious I’m sure ya’ll will get a laugh. Check it out!Image Courtesy of: http://www.ninjabi.com/comic.php?comic=20

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